Among Friends

There are women in my life that I am honored to call friends. I have grown and matured in different areas of life because of my friendship with them.

My friends and I enjoy getting together for lunch and conversation; yet, there are times when one of us will become self indulged and monopolize the conversation. The rest of us are quite forgiving as we listen because we each have fallen into the trap of “it’s all about me!”

When the moment of realization dawns upon the self-indulged one, the statement is always the same, “Okay, enough about my favorite subject, now tell me what do you think about me!” Of course, we all laugh and move forward with the conversation.

It is wonderful to have friends that help you to grow.

Speak the Truth in Love

There are those who believe sincerity can be dangerous in certain situations, perhaps even fatal. Hence the doctrine of ‘the little white lie’ and so people are encouraged to shade the truth. Of course, their argument is to spare the feelings of those who would dare ask “the truth is going to hurt” questions such as:

• Do I look like I gained weight?
• How do you like my cooking?
• Does this make me look fat?
• How did you like my speech?
• Do you like the present I gave you?
• How do you like my new haircut? ...or hair color?

Although, I don’t think the bluntness of the little boy who said out loud, “The emperor is naked” is always the correct approach, I do believe in every situation the truth should be told.

To lie is to say an untrue statement with the intent to deceive. I ask which is more harmful, to deceive someone or to risk hurting their feelings? However, being truthful is never an excuse to be unkind. The ‘tactless’ person is just as harmful as the ‘deceitful’ person is in any situation.

Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

The correct carving tool is Love.

What a Wonderful Gift

“Let every one regard the rest as being of more account than himself; each fixing his attention, not simply on his own interests, but on those of others also.” Philippians 2:3b-4 (MSNT)

There is a wonderful and easy way to obey the above Scripture and that is to become a “listener.” When we take the time to listen to someone we are regarding, caring, considering and respecting that person. We are esteeming them more than we esteem ourselves because we have to hold our thoughts to hear their thoughts.

There is a group of people who need our listening ear more than we may ever realize, they are our families and loved-ones. Today is a good day to convey a strong message of love to them.

In our listening we are saying to those we love, “You are important to me. I am listening to you. I esteem you.”

What a beautiful gift to give.

Word Choice

The flowering moments of the mind drop half their petals in our speech.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

Good diction is to self-expression as good posture is to the body.

Posture is the position or bearing of the body. The person that has good (correct) posture always has the look of elegance and confidence – and others take notice.

Many times I have noticed someone and thought how attractive, only to see the beauty fade as the person slouches and slumps against a wall or into a chair. The same fading of beauty takes place in our speech.

Diction is the choice of words especially with the regard to correctness, clearness or effectiveness. Each time we speak we are expressing our thoughts and ideas. The words we choose can cause our light to intensify or to fade – and others take notice.

Jesus Christ instructed us to let our light shine. Let us start by carefully choosing our words.

What We Communicate to Others

In all that we do we communicate to others why, what and who we are.

In a certain “camp” there are those who pride themselves on their positive confessions. They constantly broadcast who they are, what they are and what they can do; however, they also communicate a negative message about themselves.

As an example, I prefer arriving to Church early that I may find a seat without disturbing other worshippers after the service begins. Yet, ten to fifteen minutes after the service has begun latecomers will begin to arrive. With no regards to the fact that I and others have entered into worship – our eyes are closed and our hands are raised as we offer praises to the Most High God – the latecomers will interrupt us in order to take their chosen seat.

Without any expression of acknowledgement and/or apology latecomers have used their bodies to push me and others out of the way because we didn’t stop worshipping God quickly enough to accommodate them. Those latecomers are communicating that their presence is more important than the Presence of the Most High God.

It is true not only in word, but also in deed we communicate to others what, why and who we really are.

Talk Isn't Cheap

I have heard the expression talk is cheap; however, I disagree with that expression.

I am reminded of a young lady's story: Larry Huggins and I were in Northern California in a church located in the Sierra Foothills. As Larry Huggins stood up to minister he said, "Listen, I have a word from the Lord," and then he said, "Elephants and knotholes!"

Before anyone could decide whether to laugh or not to laugh, a woman from the audience screamed and ran toward Larry Huggins. In a trembling voice she said, "Oh my! I told God if He wanted to help me, He had to make you say elephants and knotholes!" Then she explained that because of her obesity her family called her the elephant. These are the words she heard over and over again: is the elephant hungry; elephant come here; time to go to bed, elephant. Those words left her feeling as if she were on the outside of a fence peering through a knothole.

She continued to explain that countless nights as she cried she would pray, "Dear God, I may be an elephant but if You can touch me through this knothole I will be thankful! When she finished speaking not one person in the church had a dry eye.

The words of an insensitive family destroyed a young girl's self-esteem - for her talk wasn't cheap!